First guy to fuck a girl in the new tool shed. Her underwear is on the shovel hook.
i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.
He just slept in my bed for a couple hours and asked lots of questions about gay sex. No, I do not have his number.
They had some plan b on the table between the beer and the guacamole. Yeah, it's gonna be a fun party.
Well, I can't relate. I have no idea what it feels like to withhold sex. Or have self-control in general.
I hope this adventure ends at a hospital
i'm just sitting here going through her tagged pics, covering up different parts of her face to try and figure out exactly what it is that makes her so ugly.
woke up laying on an empty pizza box and some guy was doing blow off my butt...i guess i should thank you.
If after tonight I can still walk on my own, take me to another bar.
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
I mean I love some drunk compliments, but he just wasn't up to my low standards.
Apparently she "missed me" and the only logical solution was to fuck my brother.
Sooooooo Your wife and your girlfriend are making cat noises at one another via text
Long story short if you're going to get drunk on a sailboat at night leave your phone in the car.
He said when the pizza came I zip locked one slice and went to the couch and snuggled with it. Does that give you an idea of how my night was?
Randomize
