He finally told me that he's married. I guess it doesn't really matter.
what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
They have to be talking about me. I never heard that statement until I was born.
does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
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shhh. i hid the ranch dip behind the rooster. don't tell anyone that way you can find it in the morning and it won't be all eaten.
wrong number but thanks
using my metrocard to split lines. it says optimism on the back. i am optimistic that you will appear at my door and help me finish all these drugs.
i just got offered coke by a strung out pilot. my night just got a lot more interesting.
you drank 3/4s of your half gallon of vodka, made a fort out of the kitchen table, and actaually had sex in in it.
We lived together for a year and neither of us knew we were both gay.
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I asked him why I was having sex with him in the middle of having sex. It was sufficiently awkward.
I'm gonna try Jim's breakup remedy this weekend.
Is that the one where you drink 3 cases of beer and rewatch as much WWE RAW as you can find? Or the one where you hookup with fatties on Craigslist?
you told me your favorite colors were "pink" "no pants" and "Mexican food"
I'm going to a one year olds birthday party to smoke weed. What has my life become.
Yeah, I probably need some combination of electric shock, massive quantities of LSD, and enough couch time time to make Woody Allen say "Enough".
I've never had to say don't judge me for chip clips in the shower before
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