Nothing says "I love you" like a full raw dog.
that's why i date skinny girls, they don't realize how small it is.
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
don't blame me for your drunken lack of judgement
big words... still drunk. dont care. your fault.
one of the service guys here said i licked ranch off your face lastnight
I think he thought he was a gentleman because he bought me the most expensive plan b at cvs
Yikes. I usually have a 24-hour waiting period between sex partners. You know, like for a handgun.
cocks speak louder than words, as they say
Nobody says that.
I learn from experience and I experienced what it would be like to completely lose my mind and then wake up with a stab wound.
SUNS OUT COOCHY OUT
Dude...I slept walked to the free condom bin in the lounge last night. I don't know why.
I didn't know where you were for like 15 minutes and then I went in the bathroom splashing water on the mirror and throwing hand towels around saying that you were "redecorating"
i don't know how to react to you in a diaper crying and calling a football 'sadie'.
Had to clear my browser history. I figured if she used the search bar and her name came up, it might be a little creepy.
I know you do it only because of my toyota, but thank you for fucking me. Seriously.
Randomize
