Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
i'd like someone to explain to me why my clothes are all sticky. including my fanny pack. yes, this is a mass text.
I feel so much closer to you now that I heard your poop splash into the toilet.
Just found a quarter that has been stuck to my boob since at least last night.
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Well we didn't hook up. Maybe from his girlfriend's point of view, but not mine.
We found her on the trampoline. She told us she was jumping so she could puke & rally. I think I want to marry her.
We're gonna go drive around campus and throw water balloons at all the drunk bitches wobbling around, wanna come?
did you not get the photos of the finger bruises on my ass?
I left my coke in the bird nest in the bathroom stall last night but I found it nest and all in my purse I love morning suprises
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You just managed to turn Doctor Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
Considering we almost incited a riot on behalf of LGBT rights I have to say that was the best time for our moral compass to turn south.
taking shots alone in my kitchen before I go learn to give a lapdance. when did this become my life?
I was sleeping and woke up in the bathroom already puking like i slept walk. Perrrrrrfect.
That wasn't even sex. That was a fuckoning
...did you just create a word for what we did?
He started out in my roommates bed and by the end of the night was in mine, not sure how that went down. But he left happy in the morning.
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