think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
I thought she had blonde hair
No, Gonorrhea actually
If she's not going to maintain the upkeep of her vag then I'm not going to pay the rent of being her boyfriend
So, I just pissed in her shampoo bottle. Hope she enjoys a late golden shower from me.
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I havnt had this much beer since i losodt my virginity. thank. god.
And the best part is that she's coming home to find that I completely shaved her dog.
dude I'm not 100% but I think your mom is sexting me.
you 2 were alone in the living room and the dog walked in and you started yelling what are all these people doing in here
To the person who put the glitter on my ceiling fan...fuck you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My pants are like a grocery bag containing ONLY jelly beans right now.
I would like to dedicate my cray behavior this week to my uncontrollable hormones and wine. Both have totally Efff'ed with my life.
I felt I lost my designated buddy on a field trip when you wandered off to get high with strangers.
Just threw up in a cup driving down the road because there was cop behind me and I didn't want to pull over. Not sure if winning or failing at life.
Well that's very sweet of you. I have a strange feeling you're going to regret this when you sober up.
NO REGRETS FUCK DA POLICE
My mom said "I saw the signs you guys were high, so I made the spaghetti"....so ya, I'd say she definitely knew
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