Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
So I ate yogurt with the back of my toothbrush. I feel like I've officially been initiated into college.
no. you can't hotbox the world.
My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
he broke up with me while standing outside, half naked, waiting to fuck him. i feel like a leper right about now.
I forget the details, but I'm told that I drunkenly stalked him around floor yelling obscure Jewish laws at him
Are we responsible for the snowmen doing it doggy-style in my front yard?
She is feeding us popcorn out of her bra
now that you've tased me I refuse to buy you flowers
Stop treating my vagina like a slapchop.
So I found a skull ring inside me this morning. I'm assuming its yours, so I'll leave it in my mailbox for you - it looks expensive.
this hospital has no fireball
It's something I can't competently describe without making sex sounds.
Do normal couples celebrate occasions naked with Chicken McNuggets and BBQ sauce?
THERE IS A MOTHERFUCKING HUMMINGBIRD FLYING AROUND IN OUR HOUSE RIGHT NOW HOW DO I GET IT OUT????
Randomize
