I just googled "whats above a trillion", thats how busy I am at work.
Fact: The drinking you do in college doesn't affect your liver in real life.
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
These people keep looking at me like I'm the first person to ever eat ribs in a Home Depot.
I apologize for excluding you. On a better note: the stripper that made out with my wife friend requested me on facebook
Responsibility: Hiding your beer when your DWI clients who are out on bond come to talk to you at bars.
he pulled a $400 bottle of champagne out of the back part of his toiled and I was ready to blow him then and there
CHEMICAL ENGINEER. God my mom would be so proud of me.
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
I'm high and dancing to practical magic. Your needs for my penis can wait.
come home. I need you. I'm too hungover to deal with this hangover alone
It was the cape. I can't control myself when I wear a cape.
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
You could cut the tension with my nipples.
You ran outside mistaken the snow for sand and started screaming "WHERES TH BEACH"
Randomize
