My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
I wish my period boobs were my regular boobs.
There are huge fuckin pieces of palm tree in the road. what a road hazard. as i sit here and text you as i swerve to miss them
No. I didn't know. I thought mid afternoon shots meant the day could only get better.
I may or may not juuuust be reaching the point where I find some humor from waking up in the parking lot at the standard.
Whoevers house this is has only beer and cream cheese in the fridge. Thats the diet im gonna go on
I'm going to need to borrow your helmet cam for my Wednesday night blackouts.
Three guys came up to me at the bar and started dancing on me, while screaming "Johnson's girl." That's the last time I sleep with a freshmen.
P.S. It's common courtesy to let the girl your banging know if she's about to walk into the same place your girlfriend is at so she can get her poker face ready
After arriving 30 minutes late, he slowly walked to his desk and halfway there he just falls over like a tree and passes out. I now have some sort of proof as to how awesome that night was.
The last thing I remember was riding in a grocery cart with two strangers while a cop pushed us
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
i rearranged my furniture so i could masturbate in the sun. how's that for spring cleaning?
This Christmas I would like to thank Jesus for cocaine.
I want to meet people. Preferably ones with penises
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