I think i sorta joined a cult last night
my mom just informed me that i masturbate loudly
I'm good, just tired from chardonnay and giving hand jobs.
I call biggest shit show at the party. I welcome all challengers.
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
I miss Michael Jackson so much sometimes
If you know any fat girls who would pay me for sex, I am low on money and morals right now
i miss our vodka / percocet laundry days.
Stumbled into class and into a desk. When I fell my bottle broke in my backpack. I had to leave there was vodka everywhere.
btw my ex came by last night and saw the pregnancy test intructions. awkwarrrrd.......
Apparently I pulled that girl's number while I was trying to insist my drivers license had enough money on it to cover the tab.
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
I'm not in bed, I'm driving and puking at the same time.... first for everything
so he'll eat food out of a dumpster but he won't lick your ass?
Oh, did your mom say anything else about my butt?
Randomize
