u know ur in oregon when the cop tells u to keep the beer cans he made u pour out so u can recycle them
I only knew it was midnight because i got happy new years texts while i puked outside
A freshman just referred to Home Improvement as 'tim the tool man show'. People born after 1990 are not people.
his pokemon pajamas? the fact that he was proud of the stretchmarks on his arms? or finding out he has a daughter that went to high school with us? ...you tell me what was the dealbreaker
i am going to show so many millionaires my nipple
There's no point in calling it Big Titties Tuesday if girls with big tits don't get anything special
I'm sitting in my room naked waiting for him. When he gets here im going to make him do 20 pushups and lick my clit for a hour
So maybe putting the blacklight above the futon wasn't the best idea...
You were all "think outside the box, inside the bag!" as you filled your camelback with beer.
So both cops helped talk her into coming back into the bar and doing a shot with me. The main argument being, "a bar is no place to be sober!"
how do you make "fuck me in the break room" sound casual?
Honestly I am too high to watch videos of you jerking off right now
Well the streak is over, I saw a penis today
You casually put your finger in my ass and other people are weird..
Like I said, all hypothetical...unless, of course, you'd be into that. My heart may skip a beat.
Randomize
