Britney fell asleep on the couch in the foier, got up stripped then pissed on the floor. Then got dressed and went to sleep in it. Also downstairs toilet clogged. Not me. I will be gone by the time you get home from work. Have fun.
It's cold our but I feel like a very blazed penguin
the date was going great.. until he pulled down his pants and asked if there was any hair in between his cheeks.
One blow job doesn not make me gay.
Next guy we share better have a little more dignity than that
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
I'm going to write a horror movie. It's going to be called "Fat People on a Squeaky Bed" and it's going to feature me laying in bed last night listening to my overweight roommate and her fat boyfriend tossing and turning all night
just had sex in my dorm hall public bathroom while wearing my favorite cat sweater. tonight was a win
WHAT IS MY LIFE THAT THE ONLY PERSON INTERESTED IN FUCKING ME IS MY 6TH GRADE MATH TEACHER
I think I passed out drunk at my own jewelry party
Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.
Ok, stop saying "youths." You're 23.
Aww his grandma died? That's sad! No mourning sex!!! That doesn't lead to good things!
Plus you need some new dick in your life, the environment is fucked enough you don’t have to recycle anymore 😂💀
like sometimes I wish I was allergic to latex so I wouldn't have sex with so many people..
Randomize
