she woke up with a sticky ear
i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
Dude, he sent me a pic of his dick. I thought dating a married man wouldn't remind me so much of high school. Seriously.
My costume is made up of 4 inch heels and a firefighter costume I'm borrowing from the dramatic play area of my Pre-K classroom. I told you I could still be slutty on a teacher's salary.
I sat on his lap and we shared a beer. I feel like that's an invitation to his dick.
he grabbed my head and said "you are a horse. I am leading you to water" pushed it down and whispered "Drink."
I've already reverted to sweat pants. And lonely drinking.
So scratching an ex marines beard, telling him "nice hairy pussy." then when he opens his mouth to respond, I started fingering his mouth. Needless to say was a horrible idea
He asked me how france is treating me
Tell him you got so much dick you may never come back to the US. That ought to keep him away
I just Miyagied my roommate through her first set of tit pics. Her fuck buddy owes me.
What do I do with all this pork broth? I can't waste it.
CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG
I was grinding on my boss last night. So Monday will be fun. That's what's going on in my life right now.
I mean, I'm not hammered, but I definitely can't show my face or tits in that bowling alley again
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