Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
Squirrels and blue jays and dove-like things. They're just frolicking around in my backyard. I wanna be like them.
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
I've just stalked all the hot guys who have clicked "attending". I now know which guys are "yes", "maybe" and "no". I only hope my drunk self remembers.
You know, having a conversation evolve from attractive men to roommate orgies would be weird with anyone else, but you get me.
Just killed a snake in my bed! And by killed I mean hit repeatedly with my fist. And by snake I mean a lump in the covers. And I pissed my pants.
Also- should we send out holiday cards? That say, "Eat a dick, 2014"?
She just called at a dance party, and you stopped mid puke to join. Another successful night.
Dick very happy bro
Is there a reason why your pubic hair is a plastic bag on my bathroom floor? And yes I know its yours... You wrote your name on the bag
I get dinner and bf perks from the one guy. But dick with no commitment from the other. I’m living my best life.
Chick in the kitchen making breakfast.. Yours or mine?
First walk of shame in 18 years. Divorce is going well.
Randomize
