worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
Is it a problem that I find my wife's 16 year old niece sexy?
I don't hate you. My dick is upset with you, but I don't hate you.
I ate the snowman's head. That is not a drug euphemism.
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
I promise a much better performance tomorrow than last night my penis has a bed time
I had to drink a couple beers this morning so I could attend the keg race. Hangover had to dissipate or it wasn't happening.
I love spring semester, so many high school girls visiting that think I'm the sexiest man alive just because I'm in college
Aren't you gay?
IT'S NICE TO FEEL WANTED DON'T RUIN THIS FOR ME
No more stories ab the wkend for co-workers... No one else found "and I didn't have pants on when I got home Saturday night" as funny as I did.
I dressed up as a "typical white girl" which meant I wore my yoga pants and uggs all night. BEST. IDEA. EVER. Most comfy halloween everrrr.
To me, you're the Patron Saint of good music and handjobs
Okay so I've been talking to the mice again and they agree with me that you're a piece of shit.
The amount of guys I've turned down for you is disgusting... You better love me.
Was just at a stoplight and some kid was smoking a blunt and we smiled at him and he offered to pass it between cars... Only in Rockford
Randomize
