we have to go try and show our tits so we can get ID-free drinks at applebees
Had sex with the ex last night. Regretting to begin in 5, 4, 3, 2, 1... WHYYYYYYYYYY!
the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
Taking a shot for every status related to the patriots losing. Hello hospital.
I'm currently using two paint brushes as chopsticks to eat lasagna.... college.
My dildo fell into the bathtub. It sounded like a chainsaw.
Somewhere between yelling how am I gonna make it to my flight and more titie shots I stopped caring
you called me at 4 in the morning and invited me over for pasta and a late night viewing of titanic.
Well pretty sure I lost 3 of my best friends in one week. Remember when I said I wasn't sure if I was gonna be a better person or a more despicable one in 2012. Despicable wins.
you really cant fit homeless dj into your budget? doubles as charity
Oh Julie took your pants off last night, I put your pajama bottoms on, and Rachel took your bra off. It takes a village.
It felt as if we were fucking on a sea of baby feet and morgan freemans face hair
I'm trying to poop and took acid, this is going to end horrid or wonderful. Oh the amusement park, not the pooping.
I have his gate key so know he has to see me again.
Nice people suck dick too. I'm proof.
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