Hallmark should totally make "congratulations on getting your period" cards...I feel they would be quite popular.
Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god. I drunk emailed a professor on friday. Oh my god. Oh my god.
he went up stairs with nothing on but calvin klein's and an eskimo hat, said hi to her dad, got a doughnut, and left like it was an everyday thing
In mid-threesome, need more condoms. Wearing a sheet to the gas station. I'll keep you posted
it is a toga and you are a goddess.
I'm eating cheerios out of the palm of my hand while I pee with the door open. Is this adulthood?
She showed up in lingerie and a turtle backpack full of bacardi. I think its love.
I'm going to miss hockey season. It was the best excuse to get drunk on a Tuesday night.
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
Today is National Blunt Day in the Great State of Me. Come ovah
I was giving him a handjob in the woods and a family walked by
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
I feel like I don't show you my boobs enough. And you deserve to see them like all the time
The dicks good but it's not two trains and a bus good.
I just woke up to my family in the living room watching our security camera tape of me last night talking to a stop sign in our backyard... How the fuck did I get that in the yard?
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
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