these burps are starting to have way more vomit in them,
Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
but really, i care about skinny girls as much as michael vick cares about rotweilers
The best revenge is premature balding
i was so drunk i stopped mid-blowjob to make sure he i was with my boyfriend and not some random. twice.
I understand Curling. That high.
we fucked while he was on the clock. He didnt even take off his bullet proof vest. Dont tell me thats not bad ass.
Jesus Christ, she just started playing Enya and is humming along to it. Way, way, way too hungover to deal with her shitty taste in music
i wish it would rain vodka just once. i have not puked yet bring it on
Apparently i asked the cab driver how much the ride was going to cost, (he said about $25) then i offered him 50 to let me drive the cab...
Dude, she got on top of me, grumbled in a low voice "I'm going to make you remember me", and then farted.
The night went downhill when he lit her purse on fire and tried putting it out with vodka
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
you know your booty call is really trying when he offers to pay the toll for the bridge you have to cross to get to his house
Never joke about your clitoris.
Randomize
