I judge my drunkenness on my brickbreaker playing skills. I'm winning. Suck it.
I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I never thought that I'd ever use the phrase "and the resulting ice cream explosion" seriously at work...
you're putting all your eggs in a very hungover basket
im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
Hello everyone will one of you please inform me on why I woke up in a cardboard recycle dumpster with no shirt and a stuffed animal? I want to hear this explanation.
Your godly.
WHAT GOOD IS APPRECIATING IF NOBODY'S NAKED
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I found our waiter on grindr, gave him my number, and got him to send a dick pic. Still not getting laid but close enough?
My boyfriend's brother just got out of jail and he is already telling us to steal cable. Dude.
purchased gas station taquitos and condoms at 4 this morning. It has been magical..
My roommate just threatened to kill me with my own pan. Can I ever get away from the crazies?!
wow wtf man i was the friend bailing you out of jail with 500 cash and you didnt have the common courtesy of waking me up for class when i passed out drunk and naked in the bath tub
AND ONCE AGAIN THE HENNESSEY MAKES ME A SUPER SAIYAN
Oh for fuck's sake, is that why the couch is in the pool???
Randomize