I woke up and she had breakfast in bed for me
RUN RUN RUN RUN
I didn't cheat on him. Cheating means finding out. I made sure he was at work first. After the guy left I got shitfaced just so nothing seemed out of the ordinary when he came home.
no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
and all i could think about was how mcdonalds would not be open anymore after we were done having sex
This football player keeps talking about his drunk dad. I think he may start crying. Does this deserve a roll tide?
Who's the easier target... Bandages on the knees, tramp stamp, or bra showing? Not in the mood to work for it tonight.
I've never been so tempted to check my phone during sex in my life.
She picked me up from the bar in her underwear.
How about this: I support you through your miserable marriage, and you support me through all my anonymous sex?
That's really the only reason I'm dating you, the prospect that I might get bacon
The moment when you go to plug in someone else's phone in your car and your lube is in the way. Don't mind that it's just my center console car lube. Normal.
I just found your shirt hanging in a tree 4 blocks from the party...in the opposite direction of your house. where are you going?
We were literally making dick jokes with his dick out
That’s the level of friends with benefits I aspire to achieve
I think my moral compass just broke
Randomize
