I just spent the last two hours on the phone with Emily trying to explain to her how to finger herself.
Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
oh yeah I know that guy. he's legit. slept in my closet a few times
The plants looked thirsty. Growing plants need mimosas too.
I dig being used for consequence free sex. Not consequenceful sex.
Just wanted to remind you that you literally cut the underwear off a man.
Thanks for not stopping me when I decided to call my mom at 2 in the morning to ask her where I was born
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
I know how to say Yes, No, and Your Mother's Vagina. So almost fluent.
He is the blood diamond of hook ups. You think you want it...but you don't
I'm drinking with a guy who is a bigger asshole than me. We started a contest.
He literally took a shit in my bathroom and then broke up with me.
I deflowered you on valentines day. I AM THE BEST AT ROMANCE. LOVE ME.
You rolled over grabbed my crotch and said "that's my waffle." I'm sleeping on the couch next time.
Randomize
