So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
i convinced her that her period would come back if we did it doggy style
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
U asked everyone for their hoodies so u could "safely hug the cactus"
ughh I puked about 4 times on metro, no one seems to like the cool design I made on my shirt
Why on earth is he slamming his body into the wall again?
I was grinding on him when mosquitoes starting biting us and ruined every damn thing. I just wanted to fuck on a slide under the stars. It's every girls dream.
I mixed Jack with hot chocolate. This may be the best or worst idea ever. I have yet to find that out
YOU HAVE PISSED AND FUCKED ON LITERALLY EVERYTHING IN MY HOUSE
Not everything, just a few things. And only a few times. The odds are really not all that bad when you break it down.
you’ve pissed every time you slept over. there’s no such thing as odds anymore. it’s guaranteed
Oh man I wish I could've gotten a picture of how many anti-circumcision stickers are on this Prius
I called you last night? What did I say??
That you love me forever and that I'm the greatest in the world now mohammed ali is dead...
The more drunk I get the more I want to steal a lamb
What would be the possible repercussions of lamb theft
Randomize
