Call me back. I want to hear your side of the dead cat in my garage story.
...she's taking her top off and singing songs from Anastasia. I swear to God were solumates.
omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
Thought I woke up to a girl giving me a handy. It was a male nurse inserting a catheter.
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
Did strip banana grams actually happen last night
I left the bar I'm on a bench across from the bowling alley taking a nap please come get me. I've had three lollipops.
My friend had to carry her up the steps on his shoulder, and then she got up, found an ironing board and set it up in my friend's room just in case he needed to iron things.
The guy that stalks me just looked out his window and saw me in his neighbor's hot tub. Get your shit ready the fraternity wars are starting.
My vagina is officially offended.
I can show you the world. Shining, splimbering vaginaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
I'm fucking my way through California and it's kind of fun.
I just talked comic books with a cop. We high-fived as he was running my name.
Proud of you.
We discussed the legality of being a vigilante. I won.
You know the story of the boner party, right? They got stuck in the mountains and ate each other?
It was the Donner party... boner party was the porn version...
He told us when he was 10 he started shoving bars of soap up his ass for pleasure so i winked at him
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