Yeah, but I'm out of licorice and there's no way anywhere near here will rent us all mopeds on a Tuesday night.
He about cried when I ordered pizza online. He said it was a miracle.
You threw up in a Dixie cup last night. Oddly, you just gained major points in my book for that.
You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
he ruins everything I try to do including his roommates
before we left she put a post-it on the floor next to the toilet saying she was a pretty pretty princess
Yes. I am getting trashed on an open tab while judging a karoke competition
Impressive. I approve.
You fucked him. I baby bird fed him whiskey . I feel like we've bonded.
He brought me breakfast in bed after our one night stand. Beer and Cheerios I may come back to this place
If this nail lady pinches my achilles one more time im kicking her directly in her bedazzled boobs
yea talk to her if you feel up to it. Just remember who you are
Oh shit sorry I just gave lion king advice sorry not mufasa
I can't even masturbate without crying fuck this break up
your keys are upstairs on the nightstand or I put them in the hole in the wall
I went in for a high five.. He went in for a kiss.. Today is a good day
Help I can't tell if I'm sexually attracted to Bill Nye
Oh.
You came to the right person.
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