Remind them to make the "above the influence" commercial about us fallin off a ferris wheel
those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
I'm leaving my hospital band on when we go drinking tonight. I'm aiming for pity sex.
Well, it's either jungle juice or memory of the night... It's unfortunate I can't have both
do you think if she looks enough like a dude i have to come out to my parents?
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
Is that a polar bear? You seriously grinded with a polar bear at the club?
The police report said "I asked the suspect if he had any identification. He replied yes and gave me a Pizza Hut gift card"
It was marvelous. I was drunkenly conversing with my professor in some of the best Spanish I've ever spoken.
After sending me a dick pic, he asked, "yay or nay?"
I vaguely remember losing my underwear to 2 chicks in a bathroom. That drunk.
Just woke up in a Price Chopper bathroom stall with a half eaten cake on the floor. Had to get a ride from the waitress I made out with. What happened to "Don't let me drink Tequila?"
I lied.
Fuck the walk of shame. I make this shit glorious.
The fact that you arent wearing shoes probably just adds to the classiness
Condom wrapper stuck to my shirt ups the anty
I woke up handcuffed to a bed wearing nothing but an army belt. Does this count as thanking our country?
I think I broke my dick but 10/10 would definitely do it again.
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