I told him to come back in 5mins cause i needed to take a few more shots before i could talk to him
just saw a guy try to order booze in his coffee at 8 am.
In an effort to go green, I just used rainwater to fill my bong.
i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
Good to know: if a hot girls asks to go back to my place, she probably just needs to vomit all over my bathroom
no. the fact that it's halloween completely overrides the fact that it's sunday. youre going out whether im dragging your boring ass or not.
I'm not trying to alarm you guys, but I think I just swallowed a ketchup packet.
And they were awkwardly all over each other in a Christian way.
My addiction to golf is getting out of hand....I just caught myself swinging my dick like a putter while peeing.
I was just informed that I have the perfect belly button for body shots... Best compliment ever.
You're gonna be proud in the future that you fucked the next bill gates
With great liquor, comes great irresponsibility. Remind me of this night tomorrow.
Dude... the time we have in life to be young and trivial is so incredibly short. I think we should drink tonight.
He said I was so drunk and high that I had a conversation w/ his goldfish. The video shows me clearly conversing as if talking to a person w/ pauses in conversation and everything
90% sure I just sold adderall to my professor
100% proud
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