Me too. Send a cab. Order food.
:( I miss blowjobs.
This is probably the strangest conversational segue we've ever had.
I just watched the quarterback of Purdue get shut down by a girl at a bar. not a good omen
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
I don't care how hungover you are were not listening to enya
I can't remember much about walking home last night. I think I kicked a dog.
That chick needs a catscan. And fuck it, we're still ordering in a stripper
Sorry for rubbing my feet on you and repeating "good pony, stay."
I am never going on a blind date ever again. He drank way too much and kept telling me I had a nice boob. Like.. Singular. What's the other one? The ugly twin?
I saw pigeons eating ur dried up puke today. Last night was fucking great
No sex in the champagne room. The champagne room being my life
A big toe in my vag is not foreplay.
I'm just trying to absorb as much of the fluids from the carpet as I can.
Thats not real though. Slash there are other extenuating circumstances to lead me to believe dick is wanted
HOLY FUCK I SPELLED EXTENUATING RIGHT ON THE FIRST TRY. IM THE BEST DRUNK NA
just spent the last 20 minutes cleaning out the soap dispenser. fuck. me. adderall.
Randomize
