So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
the general consensus of people in the room is that i should have another bottle of wine.
"people in the room" being me.
Thanks for having 911 ready when I jumped off the balcony
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
Took me 12 hours to be sober again. Shitshow mission accomplished
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
Seriously, dude... You knows its bad when you gag on her nipple.
I just masturbated to a Jock Jams cd. What have you done today?
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
My backyard is filled with beer cans. You idiots turned our backyard into a redneck ball-pit
Sending out old nude selfies with the message "#tbt"
Just get over here and light metaphorical fireworks in my literal vagina
You know you're an adult when you start planning your hookup a week in advance
so the casino kicked my ass last night, i'm pretty sure i hit a new level of hungover....just showered with my sunglasses on because the bathroom light is too bright
I'm on someone's yacht. I don't know who. But I'm on it. There's a guy passed out in a kilt holding bagpipes. Help.
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