I just want to get to the point in our relationship where I can get on top of her and fart and we can both laugh...not just me.
Bisexual people are plain selfish.
I bought the tickets, he brought the weed. thanks to you, we had to roll a joint out of my bible paper.
i felt horrible..i wanted to somehow give him his vcard back
that's a non refundable transaction sweetheart
So you know that marine I slept with, well his girlfriend just told me I was pretty, I almost feel bad for sleeping with him now...
Dont! You were just serving you country
Sorry I never got back to you, I ended up at a party with pot ice cream, pot apple cider, and hash vegetable oil.
Me ending up in the fetal position in my shower is becoming far too commonplace. It's like a weekly therapy session
Because guys aren't supposed to cry. Especially when it's over a dude singing a Christmas carol.
Last time we had an ultimatum like that, things went very far south. I'm down, but it's your turn to wake up in a hospital.
I mean, except for the part where I was vomiting up pineapple and hot sauce, it was a really fun time.
So what if I got a tattoo on a bus, it was sterile.
tbh I think I just dated him for his dogs in the first place.
Walking actually physically hurts. We should do it again some time.
We had sex to Hey Arnold, Rugrats, and All That. I feel like my life has come full circle.
I just found an old slice of LIME in my wallet?????????
Randomize
