she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"
thats actually pretty good logic
not exactly restoring sanity, but he is throwing up on the national mall right now
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She introduced herself as 'Ann the sober one.' Took me to a coat check and a lost and found. Then offered coffee and breakfast sandwiches. Turns out she's been paying her half of the electric bill running post-party operations.
Your engaged. Stop telling guys you will sit on their face. They don't always know your kidding.
Well for better or worse the home brew is almost done, want to get drunk/loose your sight tonight?
Eating cold pizza and drinking a beer for breakfast while standing in a hotel window naked is how I say hello September...
we broke the bed, curtan rods, a dresser drawer, and unless I didn't notice it before, we put a hole in the wall. This is why he and I have to fuck in motels.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm at the point where I'm more upset that he got to keep my bottle of Fireball than that he stopped talking to me with no explanation
Took his shirt off. Announced he was Jesus. Threw up. Asked me to cuddle him to sleep. And then tried to kiss me. Typical Saturday night.
Should we go get some celebratory "I'm not pregnant" tacos?
It's not as funny as it sounds. I shit myself at the company Christmas party.
don't judge but I think I'm gonna go fuck a dad this weekend
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
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