I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
Why do you have to go to the hospital?
I gotta apologize to a male nurse who's tryin to press assault charges on me
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
i'm in that phase where i'll swallow anything except food
He just grabbed my boob and justified it by saying "I just wanna feel your heart beat"
The cop used the word "belligerent" 16 times in the report. You get to bail him this time. I'm not up for it.
I want Samuel L. Jackson to stand beside me and narrate my morning shits.
So I've discovered that being hungover at 25 feels the same as being hungover at 24. Happy Birthday to me.
I swear man, you fly across the country to give a boy your virginity and he suddenly thinks you like him
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
Every time you mention the threesome around him I will high five you. Do what you will with this information.
I'm naked in a forest ranger station right now
You went to pound town last night and chow town this morning. Boy you need a passport.
I just used a coke ridden $20 bill to buy Girl Scout cookies
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