yeah i fucked her in the storage room on the inflatable mattress. i don't know if i should feel proud for me or bad for her.
You said eat breakfast. So i poured Baileys on top of m&m's. It taste just like like cereal I swear.
FYI...Jose likes Shamrock shakes better than Jack
Idk tell her to wear something sluttty. I have that one skirt I got arrested in if she wants to borrow?
I have been referring to it as "thanks for getting out of me day" all week. Do you think they will still take me to brunch tomorrow?
Oh Brad. Your poor brain, always being ignored for your penis and crazy women.
Haha keeping the dream alive until Chinese New Year. I'm jobless with stitches in my face.
She introduced me as that girl Nathan was fingering
Dude if her licking my face hammered isn't love I don't really want to know what love is.
Thats Poetry
I don't think it's food poisoning, I think it's cause you cooked it over burning styrofoam
Your anal douche was on bathroom counter. Now it's in dumpster. Not ok. I am mad. Very mad.
That guy was cool until he tried fighting that dude in the bow tie. I need better wingmen.
It was the easiest thing I've ever done. 3am she walked into my room, saw my Buffalo Bills blanket, said go bills and got naked.
I'm keeping both. The way I see it, boyfriends come and go, but a good dick is forever.
So many questions...the two most important are, where the fuck is my booze and how did you even get the couch through the door?
Randomize
