He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
i'm so desperate for a drink right now i looked up the recipe to make pruno
The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
She gave me a bj in her parent's kitchen while I ate the rest of her mom's birthday cake. Fuck. Yes.
the homeless guy was waiting for me this morning. this is the closest to a boyfriend ive had in years.
Drunk sex destroyed my coffee table... ikea this weekend?
You act as if I'm the first person to pee in the Taco Bell drive thru at 2 AM, I'm sure a lot worse things have happen in that drive thru than my urine.
She just rubbed her face up and down my six pack cooing. Equal measure of weird and hot.
it's too much effort for something that isn't food.
I had a dream that my roommate walked in on me masturbating and I hissed "I'm not stopping this orgasm train for the likes of you" and just kept going
Oh dear. If we're both hearing alien sounds then perhaps they're real.
i just want to die with dignity and clean teeth, is that too much to ask?
That was the first time ive ever slept with a girl with a q in her name
can jess come too?
sure! but I don't have enough booze for the both of you.
she comes with her own booze, no worries.
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
Randomize
