the sex was "jacking off to playboy" bad.
I think the secretary can hear it when I fart in the bathroom, how do you think she feels about that?
theres so much semen in my vacuum cleaner...
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
koolaid chicken. i marinated it for 2 hours and roasted it on a rock in a fire. it was bright blue and raw. but that shit was tasty
He's dressed as a power ranger handing out cocaine
Jesus christmas you are like the Martha Stewart of threeway planning
I'd rather be sodomized with a fullly decorated Christmas tree.
I ran into cvs barefoot with my belt undone and shirt buttoned wrong and didn't even have to ask. The guy working pointed and said "they're back there."
That's how I look going for the pbr.
Some male strippers are here, I threw pancakes at them. It's ok
Pants are for mortals
That was just an endearing nickname I called you before. I'm not gonna call you a filthy slut now that you are one, I don't want to hurt your feelings.
Certain restrictions may apply. Common side effects of sex with me include unbridled joy, a healthy glow, soreness and the inability to walk for short to long amounts of time. If any of these side effects occur please consult your physician, so he/she can prescribe me a "high-five".
We’re leaving where are you
Hold on Toxic just started playing
Sorry I had sex in your backseat while everyone was in the car
It's quite alright. I found his shorts in my backseat, not sure what he was wearing when we dropped him off
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