On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
Please, let me fuck your mom
it's like i warped into dreamland and the only thing that makes sense is my solo cup
Remember back in the day when getting fingered in the movie theater was the best thing ever?
I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
A friday without alcohol is hardly a friday at all
I seriously dont think i have ever ridden a horse sober.
There's a naked kid on the floor on your side of the bed. Don't freak out when you wake up. I think we need to fix the lock on the door...
I just want to do a slip-and-slide into a giant pool of jello shots right now.
Just had a random flashback of you tickling some guy's nipple with your claw ring, and then him moaning and stripping in the middle of the bar. You give good memories.
Nothing says I'll be 22 tomorrow like washing the vomit out of your hair at 4pm
Seriously. I'm like, "Wait, we are actually talking about physics in the middle of sex and its ACTUALLY erotic because you're so fucking intelligent I'm turned on?"
i definitely signed you up to receive text message notifications from a jukebox last night. Not even sorry.
Holy shit I'm 26! That took an embarrassingly long time to figure it out, I need to keep buyin weed from this kid
I blasted the Halloween Before Christmas soundtrack last night so my roommate wouldn't hear me having sex. Needless to say the sex got a little weird.
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