Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
when the lights went off, all i could see was the glowing of the camera light in the closet... i got the fuck out of there so fast.
I woke up with a picture of my dick as my background. still wondering if it was a good night or not.
I understand Curling. That high.
Even the paramedic said "what a way to kill a party"
Just ate a whole pizza by myself. Wearing my indian headdress again. its really cool with the french braids. I look like fucking pocahontas or some shit.
This old guy just saw me toking on my bubbler before I go to the dentist. He gave me the nod.
Lets trade lives
And i will lay in bed and piss all over everywhere, drink whiskey and have sex with married bears
Like a gentleman I waited until you were done vomming to start my Big Mac.
I'm drunk doing an ab workout. I can only hope I make it to bed tonight.
I was gonna make a strong case for you to be my midnight kiss, but poptarts sound good too
I think he thought I was too drunk to handle his parrot
I'm sitting in my car avoiding a customer. Apparently the new year hasn't affected my attitude nor work ethic
Seeing my ex post concert Snapchat videos as an Instagram really reinforces that I made the right choice...
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
Randomize
