WHY CAN'T YOU EVER SHIT LIKE A NORMAL PERSON, JESSE.
Oh my god you would drunk register for a marathon.
So somehow I got from NYC to a suburban town in the middle of Jersey. At 4am. Thank god there are trains that can rectify my mistakes...
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
Dude he's your dog he doesn't love me more than you. I'm just like that cool uncle that takes him to burger king and to see girls.
I went to pick my brother up downtown and I stopped at a red light a homeless old man comes up knocks on the window shows me his penis and then screams money
He's so hot and there's so much R Kelly and vodka I think I might die.
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
She got tired so now we're making anyone who has a stupid idea go into her bedroom so she can sleepslur "good idea" or "baaaad idea." We're calling her the queen of the misguided.
Ask him to get me chedder bratwurst instead of the molly
Unless if you guys already left. Then I want the molly
Dude I asked him to get me beef jerky at 4 am and he actually walked to CVS to get it. CVS closes at 12 but it was the perfect opp to dip out
Googling enemas while I get a pedicure ... My life in one senence
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
Who the abstract fuck do you think you are!?
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