If a cop asks you "Where do you go for fun?", it's not a pick up line...especially if he just pulled you over.
is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
good thing vaginas are great cup holders
i have a "get your shit together" dinner with my parents tonight. After that ill be down to party
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
all i seem to do anymore is lay around stoned, naked and eating mangoes
no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
There's two girls at the bar sniffing each others boobs.
The a/c is broken so they cut a softball size whole in the freezer door. Goodbye deposit.
I Can't even believe I threw all my pizza rolls at her, I mean not only did i ruin a good meal but now I dont have anymore
There is blood on the door to my room, I have to go to sleep
So I'm thinking that so long as I have this piercing, I'm going to get tested for explosives at the airport
I woke up with my earring stuck inbetween my tits. Somehow you fucked my earring out and my boobs saved it. I'm pretty impressed with both of us right now.
I'm pretty sure "good advice you would give to a freshman for achieving success" isn't constituted by introducing them to your addy dealer...
it is my civic duty to ensure the success of our youth.
I literally heard an 'oh my god' when the shirtless Tongan appeared.
Randomize
