you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
I woke up with her little sister yelling "she's dead !!" from the bathroom doorway.
Some chick just tried to plug her vodka into the wall.
Home. Barefoot. Drunk. Crying. Puked. Brushed teeth. Washed face. Dying. Need Cuddle.
If i ever start ordering tequila again please tackle me to the ground and steal my wallet
I thought it went well, but he just sent me a video of me sucking an icicle on the fire escape of his building with the caption "The ice got more than I did." Somehow I feel like I owe him a blowjob.
I just tripped out to the Angel of Music from Phantom of the Opera in my car. Wayyyy to high for shuffle right now.
I've got a permanent seat at the "Girls who eat their feelings" table this weekend.
Wearing a french maid costume for Halloween sure did help me meet girls
Dude, they all thought you were gay.
I don't think you understand. I woke up under the car. At 3 am. In the club parking lot.
A guy with a mustache poured a beer down your throat while you had a crippled boy named Sunshine riding your back
Do you remember standing up at 3 in the morning and asking me if I was counting to six?
It’s a prereq for med school, so I hope the professor likes blow jobs
Randomize
