just saw bouncers outside a coffee shop. beginning to question humanity.
See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
Wearing a Sarah Lawrence sweatshirt is like wearing a shirt that says, "I'm getting a degree in substitute teaching."
i guess i called my mom last night. she wasnt nearly as impressed with what we did in the bathroom as i was
I'm in the library if you wanna come give me library head.
she said "the two best ways to sober up are to nurse someone or give a blowjob" and im gonna go along with it.
You made me wash my hair in the kitchen sink while eating bay leaves
In case you were wondering, transporting lube in a ziploc bag is just as bad of an idea as it sounds.
we got cut off at 8 am. He spilled his drink three times on the plane. this should be one hell of a vegas trip
Johns diaper came in the mail. He's freaking out thinking there's some conspiracy going on since he sharted on the drive home from st. Louis
One my way home. There was too much fog, strobe lights, and cocaine for my taste.
Jacked up my neck and shoulder hanging on for dear life while I rode him like a boss. Plus my house smells like broccoli, bad! How's YOUR morning?
Can I just go to one establishment in which I haven't banged anyone ?
While finding our clothes afterwards he says..."So do we like have to talk after this?"
Randomize
