didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
my dad just encouraged me to do a kegstand
During sex she told me I could do anything I wanted to her. You remember that toy lightsaber we bought at Wal Mart?
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$1 pitcher night should be outlawed.
Stop making all the ice cubes only big enough to fit in your bong. It takes like 3 trays for a glass of ice water
they came at us with fireworks while we were skinny dipping in her jacuzzi at 4 am...
There is a large, jolly black gentleman in the parking lot of my appartment complex yelling about 5am jelly doughnuts. I want to be where he's at.
Hey. I thought you were saving your 80s playlist til marriage.
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I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
He's short and fat and honestly I think he's what my self esteem was made for
You sent me a snapchat of you hugging a beer with the caption "best friend"
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
Yea. You locked yourself outside naked with nothing but running shoes and claimed it was a "parent trap thing."
would it be awkward if i bring my husband?
only if i fuck you in the bathroom while he's paying the check
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