So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
Burnt my ear trying to use the bathroom blow dryer as a telephone.
Jared is "trying to bite a strangers hat off" drunk. Oh, and that stranger is a girl at a table of 5 guys, one girl.
her 18 year old son fed me pieces of a french roll like a pigeon, as I lay on the floor of the bathroom crying.
Tim and I found you a 5ish and asked how you were doing with the breakup. All you said was "i can't words"
I gave them the 'I used to fuck your son' discount.
Pretty sure my idea of standards went out the window when I hooked up with a guy who had a rooster tattoo with an arrow pointing down to his no no bits. Think about it.
I walked in on him pumping himself up by headbanging to the drumbeat from Jumanji.
I also farted in bed this morning and said, "I don't even care. My body deserves that."
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
Bad part of last night: I puked in my hair. Good part of last night: I assembled a posse.
You kept pulling me aside saying "look what I found"
Randomize
