cynthia nixon should never get laid more than me
Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
Friends are holding an intervention and have no idea this gatorade is half vodka. This is gonna be the best intervention ever.
He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
I couldnt decide if i wanted to pee first or vomit. So i Peed sideways while throwing up into the tub.
saw a man tazing a raccoon in the middle of the street last night... normal
sitting on my lesbian neighbors couch, sexting, & eating a burrito.. that single
Your mom just threw up on me. Please come home.
Yo I found your batman costume.... It was in my pool with a shitload of beer cans
She went outside in nothing but her panties and came back inside 15 minutes later wearing a different pair of panties.
You had me on my knees catching cheese balls in my mouth and moaning. In front of all your friends.
Someone who makes you cum so hard that you have an asthma attack is clearly your soulmate
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
so.. please tell me you did not really sleep on the washing machine last night
guilty
I HAVE A TEST I'M SORRY YOUR UN SUCKED DICK ISN'T MY FIRST CONCERN
Randomize
