Jerry, you need to find god
there was already a condom in her . . and it was bigger than me
you were eating the carrots out of my guinea pig's cage and saying that you needed them more than they ever would.
All i remember before i blacked out is you pointing to a random chick and telling me to bang her for America.
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
Why yes actually, getting stoned and reading an AARP magazine IS totally where I wanted my night to end!
So his mom walked in the kitchen while I was sucking him off and just casually suggested that "I'd need a glass of water after that"
I think I've had 45 beers today though So things are looking up.
when I came to get Jamie there was a cop standing outside with her, made me roll down my window to tell me "she's got to go cause she won't keep her shirt buttoned"
I woke up this morning with my hand on his dick. That sneaky bastard.
I wrote an entire paper in under an hour about The Nightmare Before Christmas. I was also high as shit and pretty sure I dedicated half the page to the animation but still.
You were trust falling into bushes
According to Joseph, last night I crawled into bed and told him to pretend I'm his French maid, and then started speaking with a German accent, and referring to his manbits as "ze greatest Weiner schnitzel I'd ever seen". Basically, last night was a roaring success.
We got cut off at a bar at 4pm. We aren't human
I'm not gonna plow a chick in front of her 14 year old brother....
Randomize
