yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
I don't even know why im sitting in this office eating a poptart.
You kept apologizing for not offering me some of your Whisky, which you referred to as "Jesus Nectar".
after I lost so many games of beer pong they made me be a troll, I sat under the table and told riddles while retrieving balls.
If I learned anything from that one time I saw the last 10 minutes of oprah when they talked about the secret, it is that you project what you receive back. I also have wine.
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
Nothing will stop me from making the title of my paper "The Great Political Cock Block." Absolutely nothing.
Check snapchat. Selfie game still on point mid vomit.
I feel like I could have been bitchier and missed an opportunity.
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
the fact that you beer bonged rum made me so proud, the fact that you threw up an entire footlong tuna melt after... not so much babe
The prescription the hospital gave me for pain and nausea doubles for my hangovers... Maybe I'll hit up the ER more often
this bedazzled flask is my best investment yet
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
Randomize