Dude, the girl i fucked last night left wearing my high school musical shirt you bought me. she also left her panties here though.
The one with Zac Efrons face on it? You definitely got the short in of the stick. i'd rather have the shirt
fuck. yeah me too. i don't even think these panties would fit me
Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
That bitch is like a bad destiny's child song.
I'm going to come in a little later this morning....there's no heterosexual way to say this....$1 flip flop sale at old navy
I was told u were the one who could explain to me why i woke up in the running shower, still in my dress and heels
No driving. The car is spinning. I am praying for mcdonalds.
If it's any consolation, your boobs looked awesome.
I'm just here to guide your spirit, avoiding herpes is on you though
He has an intense fear that my cat will attack his balls while we're fucking
It's the only time I've ever felt manly shitting myself
I got laid and laid off at a conference in long beach all on the same day
Eh. They balance each other out
She took the fish and put it in the hot tub, then turned on the jets. She said she was training it for the Olympics.
Talking to friends parents while buying all the things needed for Jell-O shots. classic
Mass text: You have all failed me. How have the people I loved so much let me go so long in life without ever eating a McRib sandwich?!
Best night if my life? Time I got eaten out in the backseat of a M5 while eating White Castle. Then he fucked me. Perfect
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