Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
Drinking wine. Reading twilight. On a Friday night. Biggest loser contest. First Place.
Christmas on farmville was waaaaay better than my actual Christmas.
How did your new apartment party go last night?
I'm really happy i have a bigger bathroom to puke in.
Once you realized you couldn't finish the 30 you started walking down the street and leaving a beer in everyone's mailbox
No room in fridge, chilling wine in snow. Do NOT let the dog pee on it.
If I believed in "responsibility" and "having limits", I would probably say I consumed too much alcohol in the last 48 hours
So last night I taught an old homeless dude to respond to "Blue" so I could shout your my boy Blue at the party
I just stood on my roof naked pouring vodka onto my garden. sweet dreams
You don't put off sexcapades. Life lesson #1.
You're his holy grail. The moment he finally gets you to orgasm he'll probably just retire and become a monk.
I just wanna inform you guys that the first pregnancy scare of 2016 is over...
When God made him he put all his talent in his dick. What he lacks in brain, he makes up for in loin.
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
Randomize
