I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
If I were a woman I'd fill my water bra with liquor so that I could sip on it throughout the day.
i just broke my key off in the door of my house because the engine wasnt starting
He spent the whole night convincing me I wasn't fat, but after we had sex he said "Oh, I see what you mean"
The one from last night got me a whole floor of Eskimo Brothers. There was a celebration of high fiving as I left
I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
I feel like after that many guys, all of the water in your body is just replaced with pure jizz, honestly.
Those mornings you wake up with a Barbie tramp stamp are the mornings that are the that are going to make me miss this place
Apparently getting a blow job in the mens room from the bar owners daughter will get you kicked out.
There's a bus with a band full of dancing women in bras. I think I like it here.
I'm going to get old and fat one day... probably pretty soon and I'm not going to have any pictures to show to my cats of what I once looked like.
Yeah but if you conceived a child on a park slide that would be pretty awesome
I'm no longer puke free since 2013 am I.
Just renamed the subject of my sex list on my phone "grocery list" just in case anyone comes across it
Idk... I'm not sure why anyone would use a flesh light in general. Let alone hook it up to a wifi device.
Randomize
