I need to buy a mesh tank top to fit in in Florida. Where do they even sell that shit?
woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
I knew it was gonna be weird when she opened the condom with scissors
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
Couldn't find any balloons, so we're doing whippets out of condoms. Being a ho has its benefits.
I just saw that blonde chick you wanna bang rolling down the hall wearing a Thor mask..
Wow. We're meant to be..
I was barred out and drunk as fuck locked out at 3am in my Indian costume. It was literally freezing outside. I laid down on the concrete and made a bonfire with dry leaves. Then proceeded to ask.the.bonfire nicely to "please dont go out". Drunk me went strait up survival mode.
How could I forget your birthday? I have an alarm in my phone to ask you for sex that day.
Our friendship would be less complicated if your dad didn't think I was forcing you into having gay sex with me
Whoever decided to put a Denny's that close to the strip club is a genius.
I'm definitely closer to having sex in every building on campus than I am to having a post-graduation career/plan/future. Unless that future is getting fucked in lots of buildings. I got that shit on lock down.
If we hadn't just agreed to no commitment, i'd totally propose right now. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
She played the piano. I played the piano. She got on top of the piano. I got on top of her.
Just filed for child support I hope he gets the paperwork on Father's Day
Randomize
