We just got home. I got some malt liqour and a lottery ticket so I'm really doing a lot with my life right now
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
I've never felt so epic in my entire life as I do right now, my bare testicles staring down the ocean itself
Apparently he took me home and I pulled up my senior pictures on fbook and made him guess what I was thinking during each different pose.
My neighbour is taking her hamster for a walk on a leash. Come over now
I am not betting on the failure of any friend that is not you.
At least you get to smell pizza at your job. I just smell despair all day long.
Pretty sure the guy I hooked up with Saturday gave me a buy one get one free coupon for chipotle. Who said nice guys don't exist?
someone snapchatted me a porn of two guys dressed up as pterodactyls double teaming a girl
you don't go into accounting for the pussy....
Went on a blind date. Afterwards I ripped my pants off and said "it's game time". He was into it.
Dude. Got a sore throat. Don't know if it's because my body is rejecting Michigan or cause of the bad ass blow job I gave last night
There's nothing like when u really click with a stripper
OH DEAR GOD IT GOT IN MY MOUTH AGAIN HELP
Randomize
