To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
You know that it's no longer pregaming if you don't go anywhere, right? That's just drinking alone.
his blackberry tasks were 1. take names and 2. kick ass
it was a weeks worth of wine for $20. it would have been fiscally irresponsible to not buy it.
I maybe just had sex outside in broad daylight. At a state park. Please be proud.
Just blew my age on the breathalyzer. I also have 8 stitches in my head. So worth a .22 though. All time record.
We just set the fire alarm off with a fog machine. What's my first instinct? Finish my drink. I think I handled that correctly.
You have to figure out where to put this turtle dude
When I realised he had a girlfriend I just started telling them about my ex and how I write poetry about him. Which I then read to them. They just gave me pity looks and left me to finish my spliff alone.
He ate shrooms at 9:30, said, "see you later," and left. I am alone on New Years.
Btw I don't have words to express my appreciation at how many times you've had to be on a dirty bar bathroom floor for me in the past two weeks
Who knew I could feel anymore shameful at the bar than i usually do...I think my bartender recognizes me from the walk of shame out of his house after i hooked up with his son yesterday
I taught three men with PhDs how to make a gravity bong last night. I love academia.
I just elbowed a roll of wrapping paper, and said “ohh sorry”. I’m still drunk.
Randomize
