My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
I don't know how I got that girl last night. I feel like seal right now sans the scars
How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
The straight man in me wants to hit on her. But the gay man in me wants to compliment her on her awesome outfit.
My glasses are somewhere in your living room. Also, my underwear might be in your bathroom or on or around your porch. Sorry.
I haven't found him passed out in the living room covered in noodles for a while now so I guess he's getting better with the drinking.
I had 800 mg of ibuprofen 2 b vitamins and I'm pounding water like I'm trying to win a hazing
I'm just gonna pretend you didn't ask me that. I'll sweep that shattered moment of our friendship under the shame rug.
I currently look like a drunken mermaid, god I love beach parties.
I genuinely attribute some of my blowjob skills to playing saxophone in highschool
As long as he continues to be our subleaser and continues to fuck me, I think it's acceptable for me to steal a piece of bread here and there.
Why are my jeans soaking wet and smell like chlorine??
Bc u told a stranger in the hotel "I have sinned' and made him get into the hotel fountain and "baptize u". I've got a vid
I just bought condoms and a potted plant, making for a top ten super weird and awkward purchase.
I threw a lamp at you?
Yes, yes you did.
Awesome
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