i think i would be more confident if i were chinese.
We had sex in the ocean but the tide took our clothes away too. Its no fun walking back to the dorm wearing only a beach blanket between you.
I don't know how but I have our hotel room door handle in my purse... this can not be good
Dude she was 62...with a boob job. And I'm proud to say I made out with that.
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
he was banged his ex for coke the whole time and is still the best guy so far this year. standards need to be raised.
There was a reason God said "Let there be titties" on the Fifth Day.
Not my man #1 and if he likes it then he should put a title on it. Till then the gates of hell. Aka my vagina are open for entrance.
I remember saying your puke looked like a jellyfish and you got very offended.
I just threw up again because I opened my eyes... God is laughing. I resorted to taking the Mexican Dramamine because I feel seasick from walking. Not helping.
My doctor was like "I think adderall is a great choice. It'll definitely benefit you and you say you've taken it before so you'll be fine!" \nAnd I was like "yeah bro, totally"
I keep getting congratulated for drinking 2 six packs of mikes hard and winning the Olympic marathon and I don't remember this shit and now my throat is on fire
that lady just saw me taking a picture of her baby... It's time to leave.
i woke up between my boyfriend and his sister and i don't know if we fucked or cried together
One minute we're singing Wagon Wheel, and the next you're belly dancing in a trash bag on the beer pong table
Randomize
