Apparently when you order 'bottomless fries' at red robin that doesnt mean you can go around to every table and eat all the fries you want off other peoples plates.
ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
If you're still awake, how rude would it be if I masturbated in her new apartment on moving day? If you're asleep, then ask me how it was.
Considering the fact that you wouldn't give me my cat last night because he was "destined for broadway", yeah, I'm accusing you of stealing him
You were sad because he was "taking it out on the plant"
I bought a 9 dollar purse from payless so if I throw up in it tomorrow, no biggie.
Well it's official... The first guy I ever gave head to now holds 2 world records. Should I text him asking if I can try and break my record?
I agreed not to hook up with any randoms while she's on vacation, if that isn't a show of good faith then I don't know what is...
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
Antibacterial soap and prayers does not for spermicide make
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
I just got a text from a guy. The python is ours if we want.
No no no, I want to share him with you. Think of it as me sharing a piece of delicious pie with you. He was THAT GOOD.
Randomize
