You were playing beer pong by yourself. Finally someone took the ball and threw it into the bonfire. You sat by it, cried, and contemplated how to get it out. For 45 minutes.
i spent 45 minuets spilling my heart out to him telling him i was in love with this other guy sorry. when i was done he asked me to give him a blow job. i did. i have commitment problems
Fuck buddy has no power. Invited her over to use my shower. I love hurricaines.
Do you think flip cup during wine tasting is a bad idea? They're perfect flipping cups...
Today's face brought to you by last night's make-up.
OH YEAH AND FORGOT TO THANK YOU FOR THE lack of WARNING THAT HE WASN'T CIRCUMSIZED.
He told me the escort brought him pizza. Can something be sad and awesome at the same time ?
That freshman guy that keeps trying to hook up with me just saved someone's life ... Should I reconsider?
He legit watched "Cops" the entire time he was fingering me.
I felt like I was having sex with Joffrey from Game of Thrones. Needless to say how bad it was
I need to immerse myself in a tub of peroxide to kill whatever traces of him are on me.
I would just like to say that I had morning sex today to the Hamilton soundtrack. So.
I just ate the lyft drivers bacon cheeseburger. Well fuck me this night escalated quickly.
He made me pay for half of dinner. Fucking feminist revolution.
It’s awful. They need to open the bars. I’m now trolling grocery stores looking for dick
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