He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
Thanks for making me watch you dance provacatively by yourself in the bathroom so you could see if you looked fat.
walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
STOP fucking him and come play in the snow with us!
23 Roommates Share Secrets Their Roomie Thinks They Don’t Know
He lifted up the blanket, and whispered "Don't do it" to his sperm....
high. he's playing 'oops i did it again' on the ukelele. is this real life?
Don't try to dry clothes in the microwave. They'll catch on fire.
Three questions... How drunk were you? How long until we can make fun of you for this? Do you even really need a spleen?
In honor of the internet blackout, I think everyone needs to change their Facebook pictures to ones of them being blacked out.
29 Cringeworthy Situations People Realized They Shouldn’t Be In
He only had napkins in the bathroom... no toilet paper. If I fuck him, am I settling?
I always congratulate people on their vaginal emancipation.
this dude, we had a connection. he kept smiling at me. it's like he knew i was gonna facebook stalk the fuck out of him
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
You are the only lesbian I know that needs plan b
Is it too early to get staydrunk at 1pm on Friday for Monday's St Patty's day