He has such a weird drunk-voice.
dude, he's deaf.
My dad just drunkly made a toast in front of my entire extended family "to my daughter the recent and sucessful college and to my son the drunken whore-monger"
what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
I wish they had nachos that got you drunk
Following a car with a GPS. We don't know where he's going, but he probably has a better idea of where we're going than we do. Also, very high.
i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
If the blowjob was before the wedding, we're not technically related, right?
You were competing with my dog to see who had the stronger bark....
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
I'm a little nervous about this St. Patty's Day party. Seriously, we're still finding stuff from the Halloween party.
Ok so now that we've actually had sex do I get the last name or are u really witness protection status?
Can we make 2014 the year of no unsolicited dick pics?
She wouldn't eat a clam- if you blow a line pregnant you can eat a clam
Not as great as when your drunk mom grabbed my junk, but better than when your sober grandma sacktapped me and grabbed my butt.
What did the sign say that bob stapled to his ass?