Now I have to picture Dave Letterman having sex with all these women. Im the real victim.
woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
the trail of clothing leading from the bed to the door was in the exact order i needed to put them on. underwear near the bed shoes by the door.
Dude, you walked in on me 5 times each times you had a different person with you. And each time you lifted the covers up and said 'whats going on in here'
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I'm sober in pajamas at a bar. Nothing is ok about that statement.
He just texted me asking if I remember pinching his eyelid shut with my eyelash curler.
True life. I have to get a nose job due to a deviated septum from blowing coke. Thank you college.
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
Kurt said to text you and encourage you to come out tonight. Encourage you with my rack.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She said my new name was "ranch" because I "looked delicious"
I went to the bar saying i wasn't going to drink that much. I forgot sobriety might as well be some mythical creature when you're with Holleey
So I almost just died there. And we need a new garage door.
im watching blue is the warmest color at the music box and this dude is literally masturbating 3 feet in front of me
i don't think fitbit tracks "flipping the fuck out" as activity.
I'm mainly pissed because I shaved fucking EVERYTHING for this. WITH SHAVING CREAM. Men do not appreciate how rarely that happens.
Randomize