Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
guy from last night has fluorescent crocs in his closet. judging by the rest of his clothes he doesn't wear them in an ironic way
Last night i was gna tell u about how i was watching project runway & how i was upset bc they replaced tim gunn & heidi klum. but then i realized that i was watching mythbusters.
True life - we need to smoke together more often
I will give you a bj if you get me food. NOT A JOKE. FREE BJ.
21 Dirty Secrets From Bachelor/Bachelorette Parties That Have Destroyed Marriages
Starting drinking whiskey at eight. Already had ten girls looking up my kilt to make sure I'm wearing it right.
This isnt meant to be as creepy as it sounds, but do you seriously want a lock of the hair I cut off?
Maybe STDs were invented to keep stupid people from having kids.
He's a cat fanatic .. That was not in the fine print when we started fucking
I'm expecting you to come by soon and a magical night of sex and floating on clouds to follow.
23 Fathers Confess The Best Way They’ve Messed With Their Daughter’s Boyfriend
THIS TIME TOMORROW MY VAG IS GONNA BE BRAND SPANKING NEW.
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
Had a crazy moment last night. Had to get up, run to bathroom, pop 3 Xanax, sit on bathroom floor and rock myself in fetal position. Not my best moment.
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
I swear the toilet was so cold I tried to stand up but my balls wer frozen to it. most awkward five minutes between me and my mom.
Drunk him got in a fight with his wife he literally bought a plane ticket and flew to Hawaii. He just called me and asked why I let it happen. From Hawaii hahaha.