its like randi wears special contacts, but instead of colors they make her eyes say "I want cock"
its like she was born with a silver dick in her mouth
This could be one of the worst things i've done... The background of her phone is her and her boyfriend.
I had to rush to my room and get my vibrator off my bed i didn't want him to know how long it's been since I had a decent fuck.
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
Come over. Drunk tacos.
That isn't even a sentence.
I kept the important parts.
We're trying to see who can drink the most and still be eligible to donate blood tomorrow.
Dude. Yeah. This is a game changer. I feel dirty and possibly pregnant and it hasn't happened yet.
I have cobwebs on my vagina for halloween. And bats fly out when I open my legs.
He awkwardly handed me plan b on Pickens Street... it was like a sketchy drug deal.
Rather than admit to myself I've spent $756 at the bar this month, I'm just going to pretend I gave it to a homeless person...kind of makes me feel better.
think before you get married my friend it's my birthday and just got done jacking off
She tried deep frying a banana by placing one, unpeeled, into a toaster.
the night literally screamed "cock and ball torture"
Would you still love me if I got a Whatever Forever tattoo? It's like the Emo kids' Live Laugh Love
Randomize
