When else am I ever going to have a chance to do lines with T-Pain?
They poured beer (3 cans) down the toilet so bubbles can be drunk in fishy heaven
K, so let's go ahead and say that mcnugget and margarita Tuesday was a bad idea
did i send you the picture of me smiling with the magnum wrapper?
It's stupid hot. I just want to be laying in a bathtub full of margaritas
did you know gatorade and rum go really good together
Are you doing depressed science again
maybe
Bored at work. googling vodka waffles.
That makes 14 Xmas cards already! Middle aged people are really nice to their dealers.
There was a deer right in front of me when I came. Sex in the forest is awesome
LMAO. Stop. Men are such gentleman these days. I woke up with no one beside me and you got 6 cents
6 cents and no orgasm 💃🏻🎉
We are so blessed
It happend again, swimming on the floor... Vodka is my friend
he tried to have the "are we in a relationship" chat last night. I stuck my fingers in my ears, yelled lalalalalala very loudly at him and told him I would stop having sex with him if he ever tried that conversation again. bad person, or just being a realist?
Not to make this awkward, but if we ever have sex (perhaps drunkenly), all i'm gonna be able to think about is how sexy our kids would be.
I'm too hungover to Google him and try to save face.
Clearly the Stanley Cup Finals good luck hand job IS necessary. You let the whole team down.
Randomize
