She's JV to your varsity
I masturbated on the webcams with my bf yesterday then typed without washing my hands first... then my roommate used my laptop it was pretty priceless
I just heard a mom tell her toddler son "shut the fuck up. Don't ask me to buy you shit when i'm taking u to go see some fucking animals" welcome to the bronx.
it was like my fingers were behind enemy lines
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
please remember that your boobs are bigger than your sisters. when you borrow her shirts they stretch and then shes left flapping in the breeze. dont borrow her clothes anymore. love dad.
Just checked my bank account while shitting blood. Neither action felt good when I was done.
It's when I'm in my pajamas and in need of a gin delivery that I miss NYC most of all.
The kids I taught this morning even knew i was drunk. One of them even said, and I quote, "You smell like my dad after he goes bowling."
Nothing sez sunday morning like waking up in a phonebooth with a leg cramp.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up and he was just feeling up my stomach. I felt like buddha and he was rubbing my belly for good luck. never again.
He wanted to have sex in a church because he has keys to it from court-ordered community service. WHAT IS STANDARDS?
It was 6am and he went immediately for the 69. WTF?? 6am is WAY to early for acrobatics.
That's too much drama for once a month dick... that's in-house dick drama only
Please tell your friend to stop shitting in my closet.
you walked into the party, and all you had on was your left sock... literally.
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