I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
shit pants at work. discarded underwear.
just showed this text to the guy at west elm. luckily we did not stool ourselves in the midst of the ensuing hilarity. so you're commando now?
yep! most awkward part is that i was a few feet away from a client, talking and looking him in the eye. i've never stooled while looking someone directly in the eye.
apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
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You told me I was special while we were having sex and I asked why.
What did I say?
Don't ask me questions while I have an erection,
he acted like he had never seen anyone snort lines of adderall off of a microwave before. freshman.
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
Tonight marks the 1 yr anniversary of me waking up in a bush. is that reason enough to celebrate?
When I said I wanted you to make noise during sex, I didn't mean mocking ones.
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if you're not jumping for joy when you see penis then you're looking at the wrong ones.
these past three weeks have been a real "fuck you" to my liver
You're a disaster
Wanna date?
My mother just set me up with the son of the man I fucked last weekend. I could crawl under a rock and die OR I could remember the rules of genetics and hope that JR takes after daddy. Wish me luck...
Can’t fucking wait for Tuesday night. Have another situation that popped up. I swear my life is like a cross between a soap opera and a porno
It's like Guy Diamond blew glitter into my vagina.
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